Annie, who is my perfect girlfriend, told me that the best way for a foreign man to find a ladyboy girlfriend is for him to walk out into the street and open his eyes, ears and mouth! While it may not seem as easy as that in Thailand’s teeming and eclectic metropolis; Bangkok, there is a simple wisdom in her advice. A favourite bon mot of Thai people is ‘Don’t think too much!’
There are lots of websites about Thailand and Thai women or Ladyboys.
Those I have read seem to be written by intellectual midgets, children (men under 30) or misogynist sex tourists with an axe to grind about ladyboys.
You will be treated to stories of how the blog writer does not pay for sex and is always surrounded by beautiful university girls and sneers at sex tourists or how no Thai girl should ever be trusted and will ruin your life if you let them.
Many of these so-called writers clearly have little experience of Thailand and its denizens, perhaps only writing from the perspective of a tourist. Even the best of these writings offer a polarised view of Thailand and its dating scene. The characters in the stories are bad men, bad girls and no hope. The truth is full of shade, colour and subtlety.
In my experience almost all men living in Thailand have paid for sex at some time or still do even if it’s only from time to time. Some men choose to pay for sex all the time. They actively choose this in preference to having a girlfriend, or after experiencing life with a ladyboy girlfriend. It is true that one does not need to pay for sex, especially but not exclusively, when one is resident here.
Ladyboys constantly post messages and pictures on Facebook saying, ‘I’m horny, I want someone come and fuck me’, another good reason to learn some Thai! So why do some men prefer to pay? The answer is because it makes the sex act a transaction at the end of which, the ladyboy leaves. It prevents the insidious creeping towards a personal relationship with no boundaries that will surely happen if one begins to ‘see’ a ladyboy on a regular basis. It’s also cheaper in the long run. Cynical? No, after all, I am in love and have lived with Annie for some time. I am simply realistic.
Long term prostitution and pornography can be toxic to the soul
Thailand offers that choice to western men and amen to that choice. It’s just not my choice any longer. Some Thai ladyboys who are prostitutes are good-hearted people and some who are not prostitutes are the opposite. Some Thai ladyboys may be university students who pay their tuition by part-time prostitution.
Prostitution in Thailand, while not entirely stigma-free, is not the same animal as in the west. But, Thai men of any standing will not be seen in public, arm in arm, with lowly Isaan girls or prostitutes and many will not be seen with kathoey either. On the other hand it is impossible to avoid seeing western men with the former two in some parts of Bangkok and in places like Pattaya. Men are more nervous of being seen with ladyboys in public. What goes on behind closed doors is another matter.
Thai men represent 55% of all visitors to prostitutes but they are subtle about their activity and avoid the farang-oriented red-light districts. Prostitution, in my opinion, is not good for the prostitute or the men involved if they are looking for a partner rather than sex. The reason, because anytime you equate sex with money any chance of an emotional connection disappears and the longer a ladyboy does that job, the harder it is for her to understand herself or the larger world around her. There are exceptions of course. But if you are looking for an emotional connection with a ladyboy girlfriend why give yourself hurdles along the way. This is not about money itself but the relationship that money has with the rest of your life.
Whether you have a girlfriend or prefer prostitutes you will still pay one way or another. That is the nature of life and love. It’s an expensive business, but less so than in the west.
Finally, there is no reason to be coy about your sexual and relationship preferences. One does not need to publicise the details but secrecy or lying to oneself will keep you in chains. If you truly want a Thai ladyboy partner the three pieces of advice I would like to give you are, understand yourself. Spend some time thinking about what you expect from a relationship and be honest with yourself. Try to understand Thai culture, both the good and the bad and the impact it will have on your life should you decide on a long-term Thai partner. Try to understand Thai ladyboys and their place in society, history and their world view. One cannot help but to generalise when in fact all Thai ladyboys are unique individuals but they do share a common culture and the more you know about it the better you will know her. More in part two.
The DB Media Channel… Always an interesting perspective, which is further compounded by considered and well-crafted writing. Most enjoyable.
Thanks for the praise Mike. It is really pleasing to know that you find the writing interesting.
David. Well crafted and insightful articles. I enjoy your candid and frank assessments… Your genuine character traits do you proud mate..
Hi Craig, Thanks for the compliments. I am happy you like what i write. I try to ‘keep it real’ ha ha. I also try to not let ego get in the way as there is enough macho nonsense on the internet written about Thailand. I hope I succeed at least some of the time!!
Having watched you and Scott on the ladyboy series here in uk i have to say i admire both you guys well done.
I too have a very beautiful girl friend who i met in pattaya and hoping to have visit me in london soon.
keep up good work here love reading your articles.
Thanks Dave! Watch out for those Pattaya ‘girls’ though ha ha!
Well spoke, old son…thank you.
First i need to Tell you,Annie is nice woman.So i been in relationship with trans woman to,but i think the problém is the thai woman is diferrent,looks diferrent,think diferrent and act differet,because thai trans woman show you how much love you.in EU the trans woman are really bad,they want just your money.i spend 3years with ts woman,i pay her tits operation, i stay with her when she get the vagína operation but she take my money and get another guys.its Hard to survive this but i still like ts woman and i Hope one day i find girl like Anne. I meen i spend rest of my life to fid a right one, and in Europe i didnt find.
Ladyboylover@seznam woman is beautifull inside the body but the man didnt see this,i know its Hard but i see IT . také čáře Martin
I think all ladyboys are different but similar in some ways. Family is very important to Thai people both as a support and teaching system and also as a financial support; children are raised to take care of their parents. Ladyboys may not always had support of their families but definitely cannot have children who will take care of them when they are older. Perhaps because of this they are driven to make money. You can find a ladyboy or thai girl who will not rip you off but I think it important to get to know someone before giving them any money!
Hi David, thanks for writing these articles and I especially enjoy the videos. I am learning a lot because I have a ladyboy girlfriend in Phuket. She is university educated and works as a manager in a prestigious resort in Phuket. Yesterday I learnt about Sin sod, from her. haha. We would love to meet you and Annie one day, either in Phuket or BKK.
Kind regards, Joel.
Sin sod is a cultural piece of sometimes applied extortion. Lots of Thai people have suggested to me that if the girl’s family want their daughter to marry the man in question sinsod is very minimal or waived altogether. Personally, I would never pay sinsod and I would immediately suspect a girl or ladyboy who asked me to pay it of hatching a plot to rip me off. It is such an anachronism anyway.
Take care and when you are in Bangkok send me a message!
Interesting, thanks for the tips. I’ll be careful 😉
I watched the original Ladyboy series out here in Australia. I have enjoyed watching your blog videos, a lot of good factual information. I appreciate your down to earth approach its very refreshing. Glad to see you and Annie are still together.
I grew up in Asia mainly HK and Singapore, I remember only vaguely Boogie St in Singapore but alas I was too young to appreciate the circumstances.
Will continue to follow you guys and think about my next trip to Thailand, gorgeous country, beautiful people.
Hi peter, glad you are enjoying the videos. It’s not so gorgeous today as it is gloomy but very hot! Most of the time I agree though!
Please can you let me have your e mail address?
I am a Solicitor and will soon sell both my businesses to then move away from the UK to live in Thailand
I have been out with a few ladyboys in London- but of course it is VERY different from Thailand
Here there is still a great deal of prejudice that I cannot stand hence my decision to leave the UK next year
I seek what you appear to have- a loving relationship with a ladyboy. I am not keen on 1 night stands- been there had the t shirt etc etc
I would love to get in touch with you and I hope that I hear from you
Take care Jeremy
Hi David, I am glad I have found your site but sad that I didn’t find it earlier. I am afraid I have been a coward by not embracing my true desires and might have made different choices in Thailand had I followed you earlier. Keep up the good work.
There is always time . . . . one hopes ha ha
I wathched your recent video about Philipine ladyboys who where looking for female hormones. This site may help them out.
they ship from thailand.
It’s misunderstood that ONLY straight men are attracted to ladyboys. Gay men are attracted to men/masculinity. Straight men are attracted to women/femininity. And ladyboys are often more feminine than women. I’m not talking nasty transvestites like Bruce Jenner and other western “trans.” I’m talking about beautiful and feminine Asian ladyboys (trans women) with their petite bodies, naturally no body hair, long flowing black hair, tight little asses, and perky breasts (or implants). So if you’re a guy attracted to Asian ladyboys you are 100% straight. But if haters want to call you gay who cares. An Asian ladyboy will rock your world!
I gotta agree completely with that Mike!
Hi, David. Although I have followed you on FB, I am a new member here. Your channel and this site are both equally great!
Thanks Henry and Welcome!
Your support is appreciated!
Is paying for sex cheaper than hoping to ‘get laid’ in a relationship? Yes. Paying for sex guarantees that you will get laid, unless you get scammed. In a relationship, good luck!
After my divorce I actually tracked, over a two year period, how much I paid for sex. It cost me half as much as it did to be married when I calculated the divorce settlement by the number of years her and I were together. Yes, half as much! I was dumbfounded to say the least. Paying for sex, 3 or 4 times a month, meant I got laid regularly while being married meant I got screwed but not the way I was hoping for.
Overall, interesting article and well written.