Annie Andasuk.

Annie Andasuk.

Annie’s tight, round ass is rolling in time with the Isaan music blasting across the seated throng. You hold her hips clad in her little denim shorts. She dances raising her hands in the archetypal V sign adopted by all Thai people. She thrusts her ass in your face, laughs and tells you she loves you as you kiss and drink together. You cannot compete with her in the eyes of the watching crowd. Your farang statehood usually draws all eyes but tonight this ladyboy is stealing the show.

Annie Profile Photo Singha Beer David Bonnie Bangkok Thailand davidbonnie.com

Tonight you are the Base and she is the Flyer. She is the entertainment and you are the support she needs. Like all exciting dancers she needs to feel something solid beneath her, holding her, loving her. You like this job.

You realise that you love her and that the horror and pain of your last Thai ladyboy relationship is almost forgotten.

Perhaps not forgotten but accepted, resolved in part and without the sharp pangs of heartache and sadness that have been flooding your emotional landscape for as long as you can remember. Tonight you feel you are waking from a bad dream and like the rest of Thailand, drying out after the floods. The morning light no longer seems so depressing.

She smiles, ‘I love you so much my husband, I love YOU’! She shouts over the music. You smile. You believe her. That’s a new experience. But it almost never happened, did it?

You remember Pattaya in September. You have gone to fetch her back to Bangkok realising you want to be with her but the face and eyes looking at you from behind tinted glasses are haunted and distant. She reaches for the lighter that waits on the table between you and burns the cellophane from the top of the Marlboro packet. You find this disturbing. Is it so very different having a transgender relationship?

That night you go to collect her things while her friend watches, smoking just out of your line of sight. It’s her room where Annie has been holed up for the last week, in sin city. When you stopped calling her, she left town and the floods behind. She left her disappointment in you behind and found her old friend Yabba, Ice had been waiting for her all along.

In his hotel room Travis and you have it covered. He reads from the battered book of bitter addictive experience and tells you what you face in rescuing her. Annie’s friend Poo waits with Travis and uses him like the slut he is. ‘Typical ladyboy’ says Trav later, ‘once they’ve had sex the sweet talk is all over’.

Together, you and Annie climb to several squalid landings in a squalid building where you meet several squalid ladyboys as if the building were a part of the YWCA or should it be YMCA in hell?

Annie knows them all as they walk up or downstairs in slippers, pyjamas or less. They all have distant stares, absent and empty. Ice is in the house. Ice is the house. Ice house, Pattaya Beach, Paradise, Thailand.

Annie at Night David Bonnie Bangkok Thailand davidbonnie.com

She wants one hit from the pipe before you leave. You say, ‘Go ahead, see you!’ She begs you not to go but the sweltering doorknob leaps into your hand and you are looking down a slippery slope broken by concrete steps. She believes you now and comes down behind on the devil’s high heels, ‘clack, shout, clack, shout’, until you are both outside and facing one another.

You imagine frost and twin plumes of misty breath but there is none. There is only the tropical heat and the insects that rasp madly in the trees; a vocal audience to your indecision.

‘Why you leave me alone only because I smoke little bit, I love you sooo much Dawid and want stay wid you too much, why you want leave me again?’

The insects seem to get louder, drowning your thoughts, smothering you. Something bad is happening and they are shouting something you can’t make out. You feel yourself zoning out and then Annie grabs you by the shirt and slaps you across the face so hard your ears ring.

Annie was born in Loon Bong, Petchabun, not, strictly speaking Isaan but close enough. She was raised by her grandparents for the most part although her father paid an important part in her upbringing too. He died some years ago. Annie’s grandparents tolerated her desire to be female; loving her as they did. When her father came back from Bangkok where he was working Annie changed her style, put away her skirts and wiped away the make-up.

Annie Colourful Umberellas David Bonnie Bangkok Thailand davidbonnie.com

 

When she was fourteen he took her from Isaan to Koh Samui, and left her there. Frustrated in his attempts to interest her in Muay-Thai, or any other manly pastimes he asked her what she wanted to do. She said, ‘dance’, and when she tells you she does a little twirl and throws her hands up and says, ‘La, La, La’ in a way that only a ladyboy can do. So her father got her a job in a Ladyboy revue bar owned by a Dutchman and his Ladyboy girlfriend.

 

‘So were you having sex with farangs (white foreigners) at fourteen’, I ask. ‘No’ . . .she says, incredulous that I would think such a thing, ‘cannot doo’!!

‘Cannot get ID card until fifteen yr old, Dawid’!

She tells you later, when you stop laughing for reasons she does not understand, that in fact, her job description included dancing in a nightly cabaret like Salazar or Tiffany’s. Not so bad, except that she was only fourteen. ‘I not go with customer, I not know about sex then.  I not speak English, can only say hello, thank you and my name Ann.

Her Grandmother told her, ‘You are no longer my son. You are my daughter’.

She stayed in Samui for four years then she went to Pattaya. She stayed only one month. Then Exe, her best friend in Pattaya bought her to Guess Bar in Bangkok.  A couple of  months of guessing customers weight on soi 4 and she quit.

She met me a little later. She told me that she did not want to ‘sell her body more’.

Annie Smiling wearing a white dress at pool table David Bonnie Bangkok Thailand davidbonnie.comQuitting is not simple. No-one wants a girl to quit the bar scene. Her friends want her back, the more people do their job, the more ‘normal’ it is. Customers don’t want a girl to quit. Facebook heroes are endlessly asking for a webcam date or a message to brighten their non-thai existences.  A slip back into that world is just an argument away; for both of us.

Annie’s evolution from boy to androgynous dancer, prostitute and TV personality has been surprising, challenging, heartbreaking and exciting in equal measure. Annie’s use of drugs along the way is no surprise and probably 70-80% of ladyboys and girls that are involved in prostitution even to a small degree are touched by it’s soul crushing influence. She is a fighter and so are most ladyboys. That’s one of the reasons for my admiration of trangender people everywhere.

The evolution of our relationship has been just as startling. Annie and I have lived together every day since august 2011 and worked out a lot of the differences a cross-cultural, transgender relationship can expose but today I never think of her as anything but my girlfriend.

I love her for what she is inside and not her gender. She’s my best friend and nemesis.

 

And look how she has changed. Almost in the words of Nok Yollada, ‘Is she a man?’

 

 

 

 

David and Annie at Outdoor Restaurant at Night David Bonnie Bangkok Thailand davidbonnie.com

 

Annie Black Bikini holding a flower David Bonnie Bangkok Thailand davidbonnie.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

17 Comments

  1. Thank you
    My girlfriend Beau and i are not alone anymore.So many emotions in common.

    Reply
    • Hi Yannick, there are many more people in relationships with ladyboys than one would imagine. Glad you liked the post. Best wishes

      Reply
      • Hi their wow you lot lucky and I want to find and explore lady boy but scared as I’ve been hurt many times

        Reply
        • Hi Simon,

          Being hurt is par for the course of love I guess whether you are a man, woman or ladyboy. Don’t give up, just be cautious especially in Thailand!

          Reply
  2. David and Annie, thank you for this page and the Lady boy Docos which I am following here in Australia. I am A 53 year old New Zealander Living in Brisbane Australia and like you David I have the Love of a beautiful 33 year old Lady boy from Bangkok, We have been together 4 years and you both give us much inspiration. thanks so much for your site
    Regards Linds and Daisy

    Reply
    • Hi Lindsay & Daisy, Thanks for your kind words. I just explained to Annie what ‘inspiration’ means. She was flattered to think her story may give someone that feeling. Wish you all the best!

      Reply
      • David and Annie
        thanks for your reply David i have just downloaded your book and finished reading it, i gotta say i have encountered some of the problems you have had its been a learning curve. and to Annie and your self I just Have waved Goodbye to daisy on the plane after she visited me I got some nice pics on my face book if you want to look. just put in Lindsay Eadon. lady boys 2 has just finished here on ABC TV, glad to see you both still happy and all is well

        linds and daisy

        Reply
        • Hi Lindsay, Did you download it from Amazon? If so, I have a new edition which has a second book covering Annie and my early relationship and the making of the Ladyboys show. If you would like a copy, which includes pictures, just shoot me an email at dt.englishasia@gmail.com and I can send it to me. You would be the first reader as i am not going to sell it through amazon this time. I WILL TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR FACEBOOK ALSO!
          Best wishes.

          Reply
  3. Hi David and Annie,

    Love the website and the commentary. I also enjoyed the ‘Ladyboy’ series, as did my Philippine ladyboy partner, Althea (26). We have been together for about 4 years, but only physically for 2 years, living near Brisbane, Australia. Your comments regarding the strength or the fight of ladyboys rings true to me. I could not imagine going through life as a ladyboy, from early childhood to adult, the teasing etc. you would get from school and society. Though, it may be different in Thailand.
    You also hit the nail on the head calling Annie your best friend and nemesis. I could not describe my relationship with Althea any better. David, any idea where I could get a copy of the Ladyboys series? We are also members on LadyboysPattaya.com and are hoping to visit Thailand in the coming year. Keep up the excellent work.
    Mark

    Reply
    • Hi Mark,
      In my experience young ladyboys do not get teased by all their peers at school. Annie said there were some but she was too good at fighting to stand for it! Most Thai people keep their opinions to themselves which is why Thailand seems so tolerant a culture. behind the smiles they may feel differently but that is changing. Even in the 4 years I have been here I have seen the way ladyboys are considered change. The only place i know you can get Ladyboys is from Pirate Bay where you can download it free. Regards

      Reply
  4. Hi David

    I just want to thank you for this fantastic website. I thoroughly enjoyed the Ladyboys series and the episodes that invloved yourself, Annie, Scott and Paeng.

    It has helped me think outside the square in many ways.

    Anyway I have decided that I will go to Bangkok and see it all for myself in January 2015.

    I have thought about this for 12 months and done a lot of research so I am now confident that I have at least made an educated decision prior to doing this.

    Thanks

    Reply
    • Hi Paul,

      Thank for visiting our site Paul. That is a great compliment and I thank you for it most sincerely. It’s great that you have decided to come to Thailand. If you need help planning your trip post again or email me at davidbonnies@gmail.com. Are you looking for a girlfriend or fun, or both ha ha. Please stay in contact about your trip!

      Reply
      • Hi David

        At the age of 48yo I am definitely looking for some thing long term, a relationship, but I am wanting to enjoy my holiday and gain some experience to be honest. I have had no luck at all with women. I have been divorced for 14 years now, my daughter has reached the age where spending time with friends is more important than time with dad and I can’t complain as I was exactly the same at her age. I am Australian and I am really not attracted to caucasian women any more. Late last year I went to the Philippines to meet a lady (not a ladyboy) that I had spoken to online for more than 6 months. Unfortunately she must of forgot (ha ha) to tell me one important thing….. that she was already in a relationship. I found this out when her BF turned up while we were having dinner. I paid the bill and left and that was that. I was in Manila and most nights went out to dinner in a place called Greenbelt. I was approached several times by what I thought were women but they were actually ladyboys, I could not believe my eyes, anyway I did not do anything, I just could not believe these girls were actually guys. After I got back home from my trip I just happen to see a show promoted on pay TV here called “Ladyboys” (I have actually now watched both series 1 and 2 twice now) It then got me thinking. So as I told you I researched as much as I could on the internet and books. Obviously I have also watch several other things on the internet too, just to make sure that I was making the right decision. I found myself questioning myself over things like “Am I gay ?”, trying to come up with as many reasons to try and convince myself not to do this i.e. seek a ladyboy, but the more I researched the more I found myself wanting to do this. I have been very fortunate that I have already met a couple of ladyboys here from Thailand and gone out on a couple of dates just to test myself. While nothing sexually has occurred I really did enjoy their company and the thing that really surprised me is that they were more conscious about others looking at us than I was. I am lucky in that I have never cared what other people say or think and one of the things I live my life by is “Worry about the things I can affect and not the things I can’t affect”, and by doing that I am able to live a happy life. I have also obvious spoke to some Ladyboys online as well, one in particular has also helped me with educating me on how to tell the difference between those that are genuinely interested in me and the those that are not. We are nothing but good friends as we are wanting different things in partners, but I am very grateful for her help. I am about to book my trip and have decided to spend 6 days in Bangkok and a couple of days in Pattaya, Yes I will be going to visit Scott & Paeng’s Bar too. Visiting go go bars really does not interest me one bit, however I do plan to go to a couple of the lounge bars and I will start by going to “The Dark Side” where you and Annie took your son Troy.

        Reply
        • Paul, I can’t imagine how you reacted to a secret boyfriend arriving!!!
          Bangkok has a few bars outside of the Nana Plaza area now i believe. The Darkside is down on soi 33 and The Check-Inn Bar is along Sukhumvit on the ‘odd’ numbered side of the road. Have fun, just don’t try to make one of the ‘girls’ you meet there your, ‘long-term relationship’!
          I will post further instalments to this article naming some places you can try for a day or night out in Bangkok where you may just meet someone you like!

          Reply
          • Hi David, thank you for your reply again. My reaction was shock horror, but thanks to a wonderful person, I saw for about 18months after my marriage ended, (Actually I am sure you would of heard of him, he just recently died in Singapore, was a Doctor, has wriiten many books, and has a very famous daughter who is a Hollywood actress) Thanks to him I have the tools – mentally, to handle any situation ! I just apologised to the guy, advised him that I had no idea of the situation and said “You really need to talk to each other” I paid the bill and walked away. No David I won’t be attempting to seek a LTR with a bar ladyboy. When I say experience I am talking about social interaction more than anything else. Thanks I have so far earmarked Darkside, Check In Bar and Guess Bar. What I have found is that there are lots of Escorts and bar girls on a number of the dating sites. I am trying to do my research to ensure ones that I speak to are not. I have been speaking to a Ladyboy that owns a coffee shop in Bangkok that I will be meeting and going out on a date with. Thanks again for the advice and replies, they are greatly appreciated.

  5. Paul
    I have been dating a lady boy for 4 years and like you i asked a lot of questions of my self, i started out on dating sites and had no idea what i was looking for until i met Daisy. I to spoke to a lot of lady boys in the Philippines only to find they demanded money it got quite demanding, I too questioned my sexual preference but as David says i don’t fancy men i hope you have much luck, Understanding the lady boy mind set and the Thai way of thinking has been a challenge, but I love daisy to bits. I recently bought her to Brisbane tom meet my friends and Family,he passed that test well. My advice to you would be the same as Davids don’t fall in love with a Bar girl and try to make an effort to understand them they are hard work but very rewarding

    Reply
  6. Thanks Lindsay, I have found the dating sites to be a mine field, so many are escorts. As I have said I have been reading as much literature as I can for the last 6 months, but until I actually interact I will not know, nor have any experience. Life has shown to me that you can have all the theroy in the world, but it’s the practical experience is where you learn the most. Thanks for your advice and I wish you Daisy all the best in happiness.

    Reply

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